Review: the graty

If you haven’t watched the movie “No Country For Old Men,” I highly recommend it. Fantastic little film.

The only gripe I have with it is the placement of names on the marquee.

Don’t get me wrong… Tommy Lee Jones was great in his role.

Javier Bardem should have been granted top billing, though. His character was the epitome of badass.  If you had walked up to Anton Chigurh and let him know that his performance didn’t deserve headlining status, he likely would have shot you square in the face.

I feel the same way about the Graty as I do about the maniacal sociopath Chigurh.

The Graty is a product thrown in as an added bonus with the Slap Chop.

As such, the Graty doesn’t get its own television ad.  Out of a three minute extended Slap Chop infomercial, the Graty is allowed less than a full minute of screen time.  Here are those glorious 48 seconds:

Tacos…. fettucine…. linguini…. martini….. bikini…. Martin Sheeny…… James Deany…… Henry Mancini…. Killer Queenie….

In my opinion, the Graty far outshines the more highly publicized Slap Chop.

I love it because I’m (believe it or not) accident prone, and the farther I can keep the skin on my hands away from anything sharp, the better. The Graty keeps both of my hands a good several inches from the blade.

It also provides a good workout for my right wrist and bicep, which will come in handy if I ever decide to play foosball again.

My last showing was disappointing — weak dribblers from the front line that barely made it on goal.  If I continue grating cheese… at least a couple times a week…. I should be able to build up enough strength to fire some quick shots from the point…. or get some good clears out of my defensive line.

What I like best of all is how virtually waste-free the Graty is.  Jess claims that she can use a traditional grater and not have cheese ends.  I think she’s bullshitting me.  There’s just no way you can use a traditional grater and NOT have a cheese end.  With the Graty, only a very thin film of cheese is left behind on the blade and in the grating cylinder.

I can only think of two slight detractions of this otherwise fine piece of kitchenware.

First, in an ideal universe, the cylinder that holds the cheese would be approximately two to three times as tall.  It should be roughly the height of those peppermills that they bring around to your table at Italian restaurants.  That way, an entire block of cheese could go into the device at once.  As it stands, a block of cheese has to be cut into three or four pieces to fit into the chamber.

Also, the Graty is comprised of an inner cylinder, an outer cylinder, a blade, a linchpin, and a twister.  An old school grater consists of…. a grater.  So, when it comes time for washing the dishes, the Graty has five component parts to wash, as opposed to a single piece.

Personally, I don’t mind the few extra dishes for the added cheese cutting efficiency and the safeguarding of my hand from being shredded into a mound of bloody sashimi.

Jess can continue using the old school grater and pretending that she doesn’t have cheese ends.

And thinking that Tommy Lee Jones deserved the leading role in “No Country For Old Men.”


Where to Buy: Unfortunately, you can’t buy a Graty without the Slap Chop. The Slap Chop has an official site here

Price: Absolutely Free! (with the purchase of a Slap Chop)

Is there any other movie where you feel an actor got cheated out of the top spot on the marquee?: There sure is. I’m not a Tom Cruise fan, really, but he MADE the movie “Tropic Thunder.”


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