I’ll be honest… I’ve never seen an infomercial for the Justin Bieber singing toothbrush.
You can blame it on my propensity to watch professional sports rather than back episodes of i-Carly.
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Jess was perusing the shelves at a local drug store and came across this gem. So, despite completely missing out on the marketing campaign, we were able to snag one for our snaggles.
First, a few things I like about the brush.
It comes in its very own faux-felt carrying case! Looky!
I would expect the case if I purchased a Justin Bieber billiard cue, but, for a toothbrush? BrushBuddies really rolled out the red carpet on this point. All of my friends will be insanely jealous when I bring my toothbrush, in its CASE, to slumber parties.
Justin Bieber billiard cue — coming soon! (maybe)
A quick scan of the product’s features revealed this:
Soft DuPont bristles! Hooray! This morning, thousands upon thousands of teeny-bopper girls, utilizing this self-same brush for their dental hygienic needs, have inserted the tiniest piece of Wilmington, Delaware into their collective oral cavity.
I’d be hard-pressed to find an instance where I’ve swelled with more pride in calling this state home.
The state’s unofficial slogan may change from “Home of Tax-Free Shopping” to “Without Our Technological Advancements,
Your Singing Toothbrush Would Suck.”
The bristles themselves are as soft as advertised. Gentle…. delicate. It was as though my plaque were being removed by Bieber’s own effeminate, dainty fingers.
Justin removes spinach from his own teeth using his lady-like digits.
For all of the advantages of this product, there is one major drawback.
The songs “Somebody to Love” and “Love Me” are each played in two-minute snippets (the dentist-recommended brushing time).
So, here I am, brushing my teeth and rocking out when the song ends. Abruptly.
“The fuck?,” I ask my reflection, pools of Burt’s Bees orange-cranberry gel dribbling down my chin. “I was just getting into that!”
So, of course, I have to brush and listen and dance again. And again.
At this rate, I won’t have any more enamel.
then, I’ll have to hope some ASOTV company releases “Jonas Brothers Singing Poligrip.”
Why DON’T they advertise this marvelous item during professional sports contests?:
I’m not sure. You know Derek Jeter would buy one.