08.Feb.2010 Review: Big City Slider Station

Let’s say, hypothetically, that on a Wednesday night you commit to making dinner on Thursday morning prior to going to work.  Again hypothetically, let’s say you oversleep on Thursday morning because you were up until four in the morning watching a really shitty movie on Netflix.   Unable to go to the grocery store as originally planned, you’re faced with preparing supper with what’s in the fridge… some rolls and a pound of ground beef.  Oh, and you’ve got about twenty minutes to get the meal ready.  What to do?

Damn right.

I wasn’t expecting the Slider Station to work, honestly.  After all, Billy Mays put his stamp of approval on this dung heap. I was hoping it would function as the promotional spots suggested, though… because my wife surely would think that she married an asshole if, in essence, he reneged on a promise so that he could watch a piss poor straight-to-video Jeanne Tripplehorn crime thriller

On the plus side, the purchase includes a plastic scoop that holds approximately an eighth of a cup of ground beef. A single scoop fits perfectly in one compartment of the burger press. Better still, the patties are nearly identical in thickness, which keeps the cooking time and temperature for the sliders relatively balanced.

Another benefit is the speed that the burgers cook at. A mere two or three minute cooking time may sound like an E-Coli red flag, but it only took 120 seconds for the pulverized cow carcass to make the transition from package to mouth, with barely a trace of pink in the center of the sliders.

Another perk is the Big City Slider Station fast & easy recipe guide. Sure, some of the recipes are laughable (Bacon and cheddar? Together? On a burger? You don’t say….), but a couple sound very tasty. And simple. And original. Looking forward to trying them

There are a couple of less than stellar aspects.

First off, though the Slider Station’s high-grade aluminum cooking surface is designed to evenly distribute heat, the underside of the burger was very well done, while the top wasn’t nearly as charred. The disparity in warming could have been avoided by cooking the burgers at a lower temperature for a longer period of time. If the timely cooking of the burgers is lost, though, the Slider Station would be advantageous only to those who are too lazy to flip burgers every couple of minutes.

Or those who aren't capable of flipping them.

Or those who aren't capable of flipping them.

The other shortcoming is that despite using 80% lean meat, the burgers had so much grease pool up in the individual cooking wells that they looked like the inside of Chase Utley’s batting helmet.

slickrick

But, I guess the excessive amounts of oily cattle fat is a major part of the reason why these lil’ sammiches are called sliders. So I can’t really complain there.

And, I was able to make ten small burgers in about 15 minutes, which kept Jess happy with me… at least for the time being. Long story very short — the Slider Station definitely saved my ass in a pinch.

I guess my only justifiable gripe is that “My Brother’s Keeper” is likely the crappiest waste of celluloid I’ve seen in quite a while. I can’t very well blame The Slider Station or Billy Mays for that, either.

Or can I?

Where to Buy: Big City Slider Station at Asseenontvandmore.com

Price: $19.95 + S & H

Was “My Brother’s Keeper” the worst movie you saw this year?: It definitely rounds out the bottom, though I’m not sure if it’s as much a stinker as “Paranormal Activity”.   From the unconvincing acting to the poorly ad-libbed script, that was just a cinematic cesspool.  It was mercifully short, though.  They both were.

(Photo sources: http://www.politicalintegritynow.com;http://www.metacricket.blogspot.com)

Comment Pages

There are 2 Comments to "Review: Big City Slider Station"

  • ostrakos says:

    I can’t imagine any movie starring Parker Lewis can be as bad as you say…

  • Jeremy says:

    Hey, Ostrakos!

    Well, you know what they say… Parker Lewis can’t lose…. unless he’s acting in something written by Steven Baigelman… where there are no winners.

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