05.Jan.2010 Review: The Graty

If you haven’t watched the movie “No Country For Old Men,” I highly recommend it. Fantastic little film.

The only gripe I have with it is the placement of names on the marquee.

Don’t get me wrong… Tommy Lee Jones was great in his role.

Javier Bardem should have been granted top billing, though. His character was the epitome of badass.  If you had walked up to Anton Chigurh and let him know that his performance didn’t deserve headlining status, he likely would have shot you square in the face.


I feel the same way about the Graty as I do about the maniacal sociopath Chigurh. 

The Graty is a product thrown in as an added bonus with the Slap Chop.

As such, the Graty doesn’t get its own television ad.  Out of a three minute extended Slap Chop infomercial, the Graty is allowed less than a full minute of screen time.  Here are those glorious 48 seconds:

Tacos…. fettucine…. linguini…. martini….. bikini…. Martin Sheeny…… James Deany…… Henry Mancini…. Killer Queenie….

In my opinion, the Graty far outshines the more highly publicized Slap Chop.

I love it because I’m (believe it or not) accident prone, and the farther I can keep the skin on my hands away from anything sharp, the better. The Graty keeps both of my hands a good several inches from the blade.

It also provides a good workout for my right wrist and bicep, which will come in handy if I ever decide to play foosball again.


My last showing was disappointing — weak dribblers from the front line that barely made it on goal.  If I continue grating cheese… at least a couple times a week…. I should be able to build up enough strength to fire some quick shots from the point…. or get some good clears out of my defensive line.

What I like best of all is how virtually waste-free the Graty is.  Jess claims that she can use a traditional grater and not have cheese ends.  I think she’s bullshitting me.  There’s just no way you can use a traditional grater and NOT have a cheese end.  With the Graty, only a very thin film of cheese is left behind on the blade and in the grating cylinder. 

I can only think of two slight detractions of this otherwise fine piece of kitchenware.

First, in an ideal universe, the cylinder that holds the cheese would be approximately two to three times as tall.  It should be roughly the height of those peppermills that they bring around to your table at Italian restaurants.  That way, an entire block of cheese could go into the device at once.  As it stands, a block of cheese has to be cut into three or four pieces to fit into the chamber. 

Also, the Graty is comprised of an inner cylinder, an outer cylinder, a blade, a linchpin, and a twister.  An old school grater consists of…. a grater.  So, when it comes time for washing the dishes, the Graty has five component parts to wash, as opposed to a single piece.

Personally, I don’t mind the few extra dishes for the added cheese cutting efficiency and the safeguarding of my hand from being shredded into a mound of bloody sashimi.

Jess can continue using the old school grater and pretending that she doesn’t have cheese ends.

And thinking that Tommy Lee Jones deserved the leading role in “No Country For Old Men.”


Where to Buy: Unfortunately, you can’t buy a Graty without the Slap Chop. The Slap Chop has an official site here

Price: Absolutely Free! (with the purchase of a Slap Chop)

Is there any other movie where you feel an actor got cheated out of the top spot on the marquee?: There sure is. I’m not a Tom Cruise fan, really, but he MADE the movie “Tropic Thunder.”

tropic thunder

(Photo sources: http://www.virginmedia.com;http://www.revolutionrentals.com.au;http://www.photobucket.com)

Comment Pages

There are 7 Comments to "Review: The Graty"

  • Mike says:

    You’re a complete idiot. The graty is the biggest piece of shit I’ve ever used. Cheese comes out in clumps and you have to press way to fucking hard to grate anything.
    Get a clue.

  • Jeremy says:

    Such hostility, Mike! Though I appreciate your difference of opinion, I have to disagree with your assessment of both my intelligence and the Graty. We only used cheddar and mozzarella in ours, and both are relatively soft cheeses, so we didn’t have any of the troubles you encountered, trying to grate cinder blocks or really solid cheeses or what have you. As far as my being a complete idiot goes, I do know the difference between “to” and “too.”

  • Heather Anne says:

    I just bought the Graty today and haven’t yet used it, but I did just want to mention that Dollarama (local dollar store in Ottawa) is sold there for 2$! Thankfully too, because I personally did not want to buy the Slap Chop but if your testimony is as true as you say, then I got the Graty for a great deal! (literally 2$ even)

  • Jeremy says:

    Hey, Heather Anne! The Graty is definitely one of my favorite ASOTV purchases to date. I’m a bit jealous that you got yours for 2 dollars (and 2 dollars Canadian… Isn’t that roughly 57 cents? Insert winky emoticon here.) Is it an actual Graty? I can’t vouch for knockoffs, but if you have a bona fide Graty, I think you’ll definitely get your couple dollars worth out of it. As a shameless plug, have you read our review of the Slap Chop, just to see what you’re missing out on by not shelling out the extra 18 dollars? It’s a fun read…. Honest.

  • Jules says:

    yup you can buy them at the dollarama chain across Canada now..and yes it is ONLY $2 and is most def. the real deal. It has his face on the box and says “as seen on tv”. Can’t wait to try the lil sucker out!

  • Janet says:

    Just purchased the graty at DOLLARAMA….$2.00 thought I’d try it for that cheap price…so if anyone is interested Dollarama is the place to pick one up without having to buy the slap chop.

  • libby says:

    Dude! You are frickin’ funny! Great review! I woke my whole house up lmao! Thanks

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