03.Oct.2009 Review: Windshield Wonder

Jess bought a Windshield Wonder with every intention of writing a review of it.  Or so I thought.

One night she said, “Hey!  Maybe YOU should test it out!  On your car…”

It was her gentler way of saying “Your personal mode of transportation is beyond filthy.  Perhaps this little device will make it the teensiest bit less God-damned revolting.”

Jess and I started dating a little over four years ago.  I believe once, in the very early stages of our relationship, I took the Civic through a car wash in an effort to impress her.

Besides that isolated incident, I’d estimate that the vehicle’s been soap free for, bare minimum, the past 1,439 days.

It doesn’t look nearly as awful as one may think.  Other than some fresh mud splatter from the rain-soaked ground at the yard waste facility, it’s difficult to see the thin veneer of grime coating its exterior.   Black cars are great at masking dirt.  I (obviously) highly recommend them.

The inside of the auto is a different matter.  Admittedly, my windshield could use the help of any product boasting its prowess at removing unsightly stains and smudges.  Years of nicotine buildup had left a grayish film on the glass, similar to the residue that you’d find on the barriers at Peep Shows.

...Not that I'd know anything about that...

Before using the Windshield Wonder, I read the back of the package:

 pivotinghead

Of course, I felt obliged to feel the pivoting head.

I touched the pivoting head.  Gave the pivoting head a gentle caressing with my fingers.  It was soft and inviting, that pivoting head.

Enough with giving the tool a rub down!  I had a windshield to clean!

The package contained a plastic part that could double as a spatula, a sixteen-inch interlocking plastic handle, two microfiber “bonnets,” and a tiny spray bottle typically reserved for department store perfume samples.

The instructions indicated that tap water was the only cleansing agent needed.  Skeptical?  Sure.  I figured I’d give it a go, anyhow.

I lightly spritzed the silky, tactilely pleasant pivoting head with five or six sprays of tap water.  Then I proceeded to go to town on the windshield, my arm moving in a steady up and down motion.

Ralph Macchio - style

Ralph Macchio - style

 

The lime green microfiber bonnet stretched over the spatula-esque end of the gizmo, akin to the form-fitting bottom sheet snugly overlaying a mattress.  Because the entirety of the flat surface was enveloped by the bonnet, the Windshield Wonder had no difficulty reaching the corners of the windshield… unlike some products that we’ve reviewed.

The windshield took all of two minutes to wipe down.  I decided to clean the front door and bay window as well.

Did it work?

On initial inspection…. sort of.  I thought that the glass looked a bit streaked — it was definitely a step in the right direction, though.

My shift at work ended at ten that night.  I got in my car and turned the ignition.  It had rained earlier that afternoon, and a rapid drop in temperature had left the windshield fogged.  I flipped on the wipers…

I’d have trouble explaining how the windshield, streaked a few short hours earlier, now provided greater visibility than it ever had before.  Same with the front door.

It’s a wonder… a Windshield Wonder.

If you have doubts that this thing can clean your windows and mirrors with tap water alone, you have the option of using a few sprays of a glass cleaner instead.

It may be overkill, though.  The tap water works just fine.

Then again, that’s coming from a guy who hasn’t washed his car in…. now, officially, 1,440 days.

Where to Buy: Windshield Wonder at Asseenontvandmore.com

Price: $9.95

What’s Ralph Macchio been up to these days, anyway? : Looks like he’s been on the show “Ugly Betty” a few times.

(Photo sources: http://www.justvirtual.com;http://www.pervegalit.wordpress.com)

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